confession

Yesterday, God and I were having a conversation about the year 2011, about the year of Unhindered Abiding, and about Grace space...those were the threads woven and thematic for last year in my intimacy with Christ. I didn't have much energy, but I remember slothfully shouting: "WHY do I have to learn this again?"  

Consider this my confession (James 5:16):: that was prideful. I apologize for inviting you towards it and I repent, and purpose to turn away, from such things. 
Who am I to NOT have to "get something" more than once? Who am I to be "one and done" or "once and for all" with the ways of the Kingdom of God? 
I am Kristine. YES, I am daughter (1 John 3:1). YES, I am chosen Generation (1 Peter 2:9-10). Those things are true and triumphant. Yet, I am also in the process of SOUL-lical sanctification (1 Thessalonians 5:23)...that I might be more of an expression of Christ today than yesterday, and more tomorrow the expression of Christ than today. 

I mean, look at what Paul writes:

Philippians 4:9 (ESV)

^"What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."

What you have learned and received and heart and seen...put those things into PRACTICE. Practice is over and over and over again; the expression and communication of the same lessons. And this practice takes humility and it takes self control and it takes discipline for repetition (Galatians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 5:5, 2 Timothy 1:13).

Yes, I get frustrated with myself to have to experience the momentary angst of the same learnings and tidbits from the Lord. But, His ways are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9) and he knew I would need the practice of the experience of His Son. Oh, that I would consecrate myself (Joshua 3:5) and walk in the anointing (1 John 2:27) to live purposefully with Him as Source (John 7:38), but OH GOD let me not forget the practice learning and receiving from You. 

Lord, that I may live from victory not simply towards it. Oh yes, allow me to experience your Son and Your Spirit more today than yesterday and more tomorrow than today. For your kingdom glory. Amen.