I thought I knew best

Often I have thought I knew best. It's those thoughts that guided many of my leadership decisions @ EBC (gosh, that feels as if it was FOREVER ago). Feeling right has led my decisions about money, moving, relationships, and work. Those thoughts of "rightness" have followed prayer, so fret not.

But I am seeing the fruit of how NOT right I have been in many ways. I am sad to say that I have been prideful and controlling. I have been impatient and selfish. I have craved privacy or comfort or composure rather than craving submission, faith, or trust. That's ugly truth about me. But I probably didn't need to tell you that - you've probably seen these "beasts" in action.

Last year when moving here to GA, I was attracted to Invest because of working with college students and within Africa. I still am, but what I am sad about is that in some subconscious way, I was trying to get rid of the passion I had for families and kids. It seemed boring or not fun anymore to be want to teach kids about God or to help families. :P And then God took me through a ROLLER COASTER year of INTENSELY beautiful angst to reveal a LOT to me. INCLUDING: that I cannot turn away or undo or blot out my joy and enthusiasm for family systems. I know this calling is real when I think about how dead-tired-and-wimpy I could feel, but then put me in the smack center of a room of families and kids who need direction and insight or energy and I'll come alive. Give me a job description on the fringe of serving and relating to families and I'll probably beg you to get me close-up to those families. I love being around people, kids, and parents. I love unveiling our HUGELY cool God with Kids! I love encouraging parents to parent their kids, helping them figure out this thing called "parenting," cultivating wonder and joy in the hearts of kids, celebrating milestones with families....I just love it!

I thought I knew better or knew different. Go figure - I was wrong to want to move away from it or turn off that calling. What's amazing is that Invest has been a vessel of "loving on" kids who rarely (if ever) see affection or gentleness. Which has reminded me how passionate and enthusiastic I am about adoption! And God has expanded my love for teaching kids about God to across the world! And Bristol Oaks is becoming an avenue for empowering the family system. WOW. What a faithful God - deserving of my praise, adoration, surrender, and worship. I thought I knew best then, but what I know now: that HE knows best, so I need to trust ALL OF ME to my Heavenly Father.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13