upgrading my silence for His Voice

i was thinking today about silence. and sitting. rest. and gentleness....i have been in silence much the past few days. it's not as eerie as it sounds. I was given relevant and special wisdom, that maybe not worship my way through wrestling, but simply sit in silence. it was a new thought in the moment - why not just listen and remain as worship (bragging on god to him!), rather than allow an accompaniment of praise to be the melody???
i tried it. it was awkward...there were moments where i feel like i was "bringin' in da noise and the funk" by tapping my toes and bouncing to the toaster oven timer for breakfast...
but i sat there and did life in silence, listening and pressing into the moments that passed me by; because it reminded me of the sitting i have done all year long...
sitting at the feet of jesus, in his presence, and with his eye contact.
here i have rested. and have been met with the gentleness of a Savior. Friend. Shepherd. Advocate. Betrothed. Provider.
A Gentle One who has granted me freedom to be me and let others in....to be less afraid and worried that they won't like what they find (still dancing the dance to soon become Unafraid).
Oh, He is mighty and majestic! He is the only one Marvelous enough to coax us into His presence with the invitation of: "Refiner's Fire, Come One, Come All!"
I have sat here, watching the dross bubble up and out....
Best choice I have EVER made.
to sit.
some days with a journal in hand crying out the seemingly-misunderstood journey of my heart. somedays with anger or longing. somedays with purity of love.
some days with a book.
some days i had to endure His gentleness, publicly, as a slew of people witnessed an Encounter with revelation.
some days i was alone, other days i was alone in a crowded room.
some days i had to sit in silence and listen.
this year has had days that were hard and quite clunky. because these days the mirror is held up in front of you with a film covering it and you hear "You have me within you, but you are not behaving as it..instead you choose [insert thing here: shame, fear, drugs, drink, socializing, sex] before Me. Let me journey with you" Sometimes it's overwhelming to have so many mirror-days and so much silence around you.
would i trade those days?
not one of them, because this has been obedience. and this is how i was called to make war:: by sitting, sometimes in reverent silence; other times in postured worship; sometimes in giddiness and glee; learning to believe.
there i sat and met The Person of Grace, with Him--in my silence for His Voice.

Psalm 23:1-3 (AMP)

"THE LORD is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack.He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him--not for my earning it, but] for His name's sake."

1 Corinthians 2:16 (NIV)

^"But we have the mind of Christ." 

Luke 10:38-42 (ESV)

"as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, "Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me."But the Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion,which will not be taken away from her."

Galatians 5:22-23

"But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge]."