What questions are you asking?

It seems so simple. She made it seem so simple. Our dear friend, Tita Julietta, has gotten what may be her dream job working as a counselor and educator at a homeless shelter in a nearby community. She said that she had been praying for God to use her and reveal and make something of her purpose. And I said, in passing, "wish he'd tell me." And she replied, "Well have you asked him? What is it that your heart most desires?" DOH. 

It isn't that I am not asking questions. I am the self-diagnosed-queen of asking rhetorical, clarifying, and curious questions. It's how I make decisions and dialogue about deep matters. So, again, it isn't that I haven't asked. But I haven't asked. That didn't make sense. What I mean is, there is so much I want in life; God and I are in constant communication to see if we are on the same page (preferably His) or just about stuff: Why did you give me the sweet tooth, and not Megan? Will I ever be patient with grown-ups? Why does pain have to hurt so much? Where do dimples come from? Why do some people have them and some people don't? Why is a baby's giggle the happiest sound I know of? Why did you bring me to Atlanta? Will I ever go back to Kenya? Have you placed travel on my heart because I am going to travel for the rest of my life? When will I get married? When will I have kids? Why am I sheepish to even write about these things? When will I be out of stupid credit card debt? Why am I such a dork? Why is the theme of adoption so incredibly heavy on my heart? Why do I love weddings and know a bunch of random stuff about them? Why are the poorest people I know the most grateful? Why am I best at singing karaoke-style to Broadway musicals late at night in my car? Is your purpose for me to be around, lead, or engage with kids? Is theatre in my future? Why do I want to audition for those plays in January? Why do I love learning? Will I go to graduate school? But I am not sure I have blatantly asked FOR the things my heart most desires. Will you cause me, God, to see the moments of opportunity that lead to a lifelong ministry companionship? Will you give me the courage to take the risks necessary? Will you allow me to have kids? Will you allow me to adopt kids who don't have a safe home otherwise? Can I please have all of that soon, so that I can actually remember it all? Oh and can I have gratitude all along the way, so I don't wish for something I don't have or that I once had? Oh, and God, can I have cheesecake with a fork rather than cake...see the thing is, I don't like cake so much...but cheesecake, now that I like! What is your purpose for me?  How can I bring change to a large group of people who have the energy to make changes in their own life? What should I write a book about?

In this season, where we ask for things we want (wall hangings, clothes, money, a new car....) or think of things we long for (world peace, a green light @ the intersection, clearance prices, low gas prices, AIDS cures, justice, end of oppression) I am wondering: WHAT QUESTIONS ARE YOU ASKING? No, for real, I'd be curious to know.

Post Script: As you can see, I have a sense of humor with my Adoring Abba. In no way do I take lightly that I tend to ask for my [cheese]cake and want to eat it too. I just know that God already knows, so it's just fun to say aloud. AND, God is the most creative Being in the Universe, so He definitely knows how to laugh and giggle with His Children!