caution: i am 'havin' a moment...........

i kinda i feel like yelling...
just being honest, here. authentic community.
i am not really sure what my personal tendency is for getting mad....i guess, maybe, i think i have spent most of my life stuffing things down inside, as if these things are my fault, so i have not been much of a "shouter..."

but today i feel like yelling.
i am not talking about the kinda of voice-raising that is happy and joyful rejoicing.
i feel a forceful current of hurt and anger and insecurity and that makes me want to yell.

WHERE IS IT COMING FROM?

Bildad from Shuhah was next to speak:
"How can you keep on talking like this?
You're talking nonsense, and noisy nonsense at that.
Does God mess up?
Does God Almighty ever get things backward?
It's plain that your children sinned against him—
otherwise, why would God have punished them?
Here's what you must do—and don't put it off any longer:
Get down on your knees before God Almighty.
If you're as innocent and upright as you say,
it's not too late—he'll come running;
he'll set everything right again, reestablish your fortunes.
Even though you're not much right now,
you'll end up better than ever."
Job 8:1-7

Matthew 4 (Amplified Bible)

"THEN JESUS was led (guided) by the [Holy] Spirit into the wilderness (desert) to be tempted (tested and tried) by the devil.

And He went without food for forty days and forty nights, and later He was hungry.

And the tempter came and said to Him, If You are God's Son, command these stones to be made [loaves of] bread.

But He replied, It has been written, Man shall not live and be upheld and sustained by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.

Then the devil took Him into the holy city and placed Him on a turret (pinnacle, gable) of the temple sanctuary.

And he said to Him, If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down; for it is written, He will give His angels charge over you, and they will bear you up on their hands, lest you strike your foot against a stone.

Jesus said to him, On the other hand, it is written also, You shall not tempt, test thoroughly, or try exceedingly the Lord your God.

Again, the devil took Him up on a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory (the splendor, magnificence, preeminence, and excellence) of them.

And he said to Him, These things, all taken together, I will give You, if You will prostrate Yourself before me and do homage and worship me.

Then Jesus said to him, Begone, Satan! For it has been written, You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him alone shall you serve.

Then the devil departed from Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him." Matthew 4:1-11

2 Corinthians 3:5 (Amplified Bible)

"Not that we are fit (qualified and sufficient in ability) of ourselves to form personal judgments or to claim or count anything as coming from us, but our power and ability and sufficiency are from God."