Oh to be like Joshua, Abraham, or Esther....

Literature is riddled with stories of people who acted courageously: Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Winston Churchill, Nelson Mandela, Joan of Arc, Anne Frank, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, Paul Revere, JFK, Forrest Gump, Elle Woods....to name a few. Their stories are triumphant and bold - sometimes cheapened by falsities, but never the less we know of them and recognize their valor. 

Literature is also riddled with people who took the easy way out, but I can barely remember their names. History is not my skill in Trivial Pursuit. 

I am most interested by the great people of 'ore in the Bible. Abraham, Joshua, Ruth, Esther, David, Job, Joseph, Noah. their stories are magnificent. Stories filtered with obedience, laughter, faithfulness, courage, and...imperfection. 

I am feeling less than perfect these days. I have panicked in MIGHTY ways. I have been fearful and afraid. I have mis-managed my money. I have texted while driving even though I covenanted with myself that I would STOP doing that. I haven't called my Nana enough. Gee, I probably haven't called my mom enough. :) 

Abraham walked in the wilderness frightened.

David sinned in adulterous ways. 

Peter doubted and sank into the water.

Thomas doubted. 

Jonah ran the other direction. 

Noah hesitated. 

BUT...

Jabez prayed.

Abraham waited.

Jonah turned around.

Joseph endured.

Thomas saw and then believed.

Peter was the ROCK of Jesus' Church.

Esther entered.

Mary obeyed.

Noah built.

And Jesus died. 

Never before have I been so scared and lonely and "empty." Those emotions and feelings are the enemy tempting me to give in to a life I don't need to, because with a small "inhale" God is near. And again. And again. And again. God sent His Son that we might be assured of His ever-true presence in our lives. Jesus knows the ache. He knows the wealth of tears. He knows the fears. He knows. And He comforts. He is truly worthy of my praise and adoration!

I am growing in faith and obedience. And if all of this angst makes me more righteous in His Sight - I will endure. No matter how crazy it seems. I hope that eventually my character can be more similar to that of Sarah or Hannah or Abraham or Job....the favor God had on them is beautiful.  

I am going to keep trying to understand. Because I am just one person with this story. There are many more that feel things I cannot fathom. It's for them I pray.